All the answers for everything you’d ever desire are right in front of you.
Not in some mystical way. Not hidden in the magic of thinking big or in the power of positive thinking, though that does open the door of possibilities.
No, the fulfillment of your burning desires are within your reach right now.
What’s your wife reading?
If you had the awareness of what she’s up to it would lead you directly to what’s actually missing to make your relationship everything you know it can be.
Is she trying to get a handle on her hormones?
What if you read a bit on understanding the cycle a woman experiences every month? What if you understood the major shifts she goes through simply because she keeps living? Imagine having the awareness of what she’s dealing with. You’d know what to do and when, whatever’s needed to support her for her own good, you’d be on top of it.
If she’s strong and happier and feels safer for it, how do you suppose that goes for you?
What’s your husband reading, listening to?
Is he wondering about the battles of life and how to emotionally manage it all?
Is it possible he’s at a loss at times, wondering how to get himself in the state he needs to be in to serve, protect, grow the family in unity and prosperity–all while he’s not supposed to reveal weakness yet struggles for relief?
What fills him? Words? The touch of your finger tips? If that good man you married is filled by connection with you and is equipped to take on the world in his fullness, as God made him … how do you think that might go for you, the household?
We all tend to know how to have good relationships with our kids: be with them. Be in to what they’re in to. Do what you say you’ll do and so on.
Do you want to be around someone who lacks interest in you?
You’d never have a second date with that person, let alone desire to build a life or produce other humans with them.
Why don’t we take interest in our spouses for what they are: a divine gift just for us?
God gives gifts like athletic ability or writing or leadership and we work at them. We hone our craft. We take courses and workshops. We get degrees to advance careers and incomes, which we embellish at parties.
Seriously, why don’t we intentionally learn about the other human laying in our bed?
What if like the tomatoes in our gardens or the plants around the house, we set a permanent intention to nurture our spouse into their full strength and potential… full of the abundant life Jesus came to give?
If they got a certain type of cancer, would you care to learn about that specific disease and how to handle it, even eliminate it?
Of course you would.
When we discovered a cancerous lump near our dog’s jaw, Nikki researched, then bought “special” supplements.
You do it with the flu, that weird pain in your knee, or what your kid needs to be successful, especially if you have to work around allergies.
Why then, do we neglect learning mastering our understanding of the one human we’re bound to for eternity?
My theory: we’re dumb. We learn REALLY slowly. And yes, even you, the above average type.
Everything you desire–that badass marriage and life of your dreams–before you get to heaven… right here and now, is through understanding.
The wisest man who ever lived, King Solomon taught his son, “Though it cost all you have, get understanding.”
You can completely eliminate your frustration (and your friction) by learning each other inside and out. You’re not who you were. Either are they. We change continuously.
Fun/weird fact: Did you know that on average the human body is comprised of entirely new cells every 7 to 10 years? While some brain cells are intended for life, we’re all basically brand new every decade.
Ever heard of Perimenopause?
If you haven’t, you will.
I’m currently earning my street degree on the subject. This season of life is not for weak of heart. But I love her. I want her to flourish. Yes, I understand the benefits I get to enjoy when she’s bright and shiny. That’s not what interests me as much these days.
I’m obsessed with us being fully us. I want the marriage God has possible for us. I used to care more about the set up of my car than the state of my marriage. Thank God for grace and mercy! Holy crap.
What do you want? How do you want to live?
It might be time to pick up a book, listen to that podcast or watch that YouTube video.
Maybe it’s time to call that person in your life who has the kind of fruit on the tree you want and ask them for some tips. Nikki and I are going on 25 years. I feel like we’re just starting to master our marital balance. I’m looking for faithful couples 40+ years into their vows.
I’ll get you started, say “Hey, how can I get that too?”
Simple. Easy. Fast.
Remember, if you’re too proud to ask, you’re too proud to have.
“Ask and it will be given to you…..” Jesus.
So, how do you want to live?
Adam
February
Apollo Beach, FL
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Email adam@adamkasix.com
