Once upon a time, little Guy got hurt.
He was abandoned, rejected, ignored, dismissed, abused, touched against his will, beaten, or otherwise betrayed deep down.
The pain lodged itself into his core, most sensitive area, likely from Mom and/or Dad, and most likely unintentional.
They were just repeating the pattern they learned from the unhealed who developed them into what they became.
A mis-taken identity took root.
And out of necessity, to protect him, Guy’s Beast was born.
His little heart adopted a message: I am unwanted, stupid, ugly, lazy, worthless, “just like your loser father”, or anything else that tore at his little spirit.
So little Guy got jaded.
That led the Beast within—his darkness, his specific pain, his memorized reactions—to build big emotional walls around his little damaged heart, to mitigate risk of further harm.
But when walls are built, they not only keep out threats…they also keep out goodness and love. (My wife taught me that one, as we worked through my post-traumatic stress together)
Once grown and big, Guy uses all sorts of chasing to cope with having little to no peace in his heart. No matter how hard he tries, he tends to fuck things up. Imagine the frustration that mounts within a Guy like that.
He gets reminded of little Guy’s pain at times, through triggers he doesn’t realize are his—Guy does not feel like a man in his heart.
Guy has trouble getting his balance, staying level.
So what does he do?
He lets the Beast lead.
He puts his heart backstage, and guided by fear from his unhealed hurt, gives the mic to Alpha Guy to handle business… in front of the crowd. And gets rewarded for it!
Applause rains down and profits soar.
He does things the world thinks strong men would do, even to the point of becoming unapproachable to those in his own home. Producing “egg-shells” for his wife, his kids and others to walk on.
Guy begins to battle self-hatred, so he produces reactions in others, with his rough behavior, that fulfill his own self-inflicted prophecy of pain and heartache and division.
He uses aggression to clear his way, dives into escapisms like all day sports or sex or career advancement… even “extreme” hobbies that he can lean on to feel powerful… for a bit.
He fronts. Guy puts on a facade, or false evidence appearing real, to cover over the deficiency he fears is beneath the surface.
He’ll continue faking it, even when his family is falling apart and his wife walks away in the same leather pants he used to grab her ass in for his Social snaps.
He fronts as though the ship is not sinking, even as she’s leaving him—no, not him, she’s leaving his bullshit behind.
The sad part is, she wants the relationship. And she wants it with him, but for her own sanity must get away from the poison he stews in and spews out.
Guy is learning the hard way, because his conditioning says “MEN DON’T FAIL”.
His aversion to “failure” is blocking his access to freedom.
His perception is poisoning him and those he loves.
His marriage has become an entity to keep alive, rather than the eternal union meant for two souls to become aligned and FLY.
Inside, Guy cannot let himself feel failure, let alone allow something with his name attached to it to fail.
Guy will not fail… until it all crashes down and he’s left holding only his balls as a declaration of his manhood, rather than that sweet booty in the shiny sharkskin pants.
At all cost, Guy must hide the little boy from being seen… and being hurt again.
So he stacks all sorts of things on top—to provide cover for the scared boy inside—that’s what every good Warrior does, “Wake Up Warrior, we’re under attack AGAIN!”
Good warriors provide cover for someone when they’re vulnerable. And they attack perceived threats swiftly and violently. And for big Guy, and his learned hypervigilance, most things are threatening.
Twelve years in the Army and a combat tour in Afghanistan have shown me, the harder and tougher and “more manly” Guy acts, the more he’s covering for little Guy inside.
We end up seeing Guy show up covered in whiskey, cigars, trucks, guns, money, watches, jets, women…
…business success, kids’ trophies, little league bragging, selfies from the gym–once or twice a year when he’s “getting in the best shape of my life! #alphamindset #dontbealittlebitch”
At this point, Guy is becoming a walking cliche’ of cringe-level proportions. Most can see it dripping from him, but not him–he only sees the drip of his Alpha swag.
Then the divorce goes public.
He leans harder into his toxic nature… while mixing in sentimental philosophies about “being grateful for adversity” and “you’re enough” and “family is such a blessing” with his kids, minus their mom.
Now, he’s over the top and unapologetic about it.
Suddenly, other Guys from around the world with their own little Guys inside to protect start drawing to him, attracted to his message of “Man Power”.
Guy is totally stuck, but while he looks amazing on the outside, darkness expands on the inside.
How is that possible if he’s providing cover for the one inside? It’s because all that covering actually suffocates the wounds and prevents healing.
A decade as a registered nurse showed me how wounds actually heal…they must be exposed, cleared of waste (terribly painful), treated, and properly covered.
Then they can heal, rather than get buried only to reemerge as brutal, potentially deadly, monsters later.
Guy refuses to confront his beast.
Little Guy is dying due to big Guy’s illusions and deep unmet needs for acceptance, gratification, love or feeling important, valuable or useful.
Remember, little Guy was hurt deeply and adopted a mindset way off of what God designed him for. That’s why he can’t find day-in, day-out lasting peace.
Post-puberty Guy decided some version of, “I’m never letting that happen again.”
So he commits to The Way of the Facade.
This is manhood perverted… or not as God intends.
When Guy truly decides to be a good man of righteous strength, he can begin his restoration process. But if he keeps acting like restoration is just for old cars, not only he, but everyone around him will continue to suffer.
He’ll continue posting photos of field dressing wild animals, in an attempt to prove his quality… to little Guy, inside.
And so the pattern stays on loop, little Guy into big Guy, generation after generation, no matter how far his zip code gets from his own father’s–if he even knows it.
The Villain Hides in Plain Sight
This is the part of Guy’s story when his refusal to face his beast begins to cause damage, at scale…
Guy doesn’t just destroy himself.
He becomes a role model for other Guys who have not healed.
His message of bravado is powerful, full of strong energy, even sexy to the little Guys inside us all.
Little Guy who follows his social media thinks, “I bet my wife would blow me on a boat too, if I was strong like Guy. If I was a real warrior, a real lion, a real… man.
His following increases. Guy feels good. Really good, on the outside.
But his shame and disgust are visible to those who see it slip out during his latest Alpha podcast appearance, as he tells us, “Man up, mother fucker!” and fake smiles from behind his imported cigar and tremendous internal void.
He wears a monster watch on his wrist because he’s not strong enough to wear his heart on his sleeve.
Guy is living way short of his God-designed potential.
But a ton of us—men like me and you—follow him.
Our desire is good. The approach to achieving it leads to destruction.
We don’t know we’re following a facade.
We just know he looks like strength.
Loud energy that screams “I am Alpha! Willpower for days”
We eat it up. We think it’ll help us bulk up into manhood.
But what we’re adopting is a toxic mindset with a fresh coat of paint.
Being a good man is like being truly powerful, if you have to say it, you’re not.
If a Ferrari Spider and a Vespa Scooter are next to each other at a stop light, does anyone wonder who would win that race?
Only a little Guy in that Ferrari would punch it. (where I grew up, we called him a Douchebag. French, I think.)
A real man would smile and watch the Vespa putter out ahead, before gently passing and only then would he tear pavement off the road.
Guy’s not just hiding the boy inside—
He’s selling a blueprint for other men to do the same.
And we buy it.
We copy it.
We build our families, businesses, and self-worth on it.
We beg him to check his DM’s so he can maybe fill our void for us… get our wife to passionately make love to us, possibly for the first time.
Of course, Guy doesn’t know how to truly help us restore ourselves because he’s too much of a coward to confront his Beast—the darkness of his hurt, the specifics of his pain typically rooted in a foundational relationship in his life.
And rather than learn how to become a good king or lover, he strictly wears his Warrior costume and crushes it for the handful of little Guys who look up to him and his “strength”.
That’s how Guy becomesa villain.
Not because he’s evil.
But because he’s unhealed.
He’s looking out for his Little Guy, not the little guy, in us all.
His character is poor. His ethics are crooked. His accountability in life is tainted.
He knows. But he refuses to confront his beast… ignoring it, turning his head each time it taps his shoulder.
And like any emotional trauma left untreated, he passes it on.
These “mentors” we admire—
They never went back to rescue their little boy.
They never held the hand of the wounded one, hugged him.
They just buried him under success, swagger, and soundbites.
One big Guy even makes most of his living talking about “haters”. C’mon, Guy, why so sensitive?
And now?
They lead movements that look like freedom, but actually multiply bondage.
Their divorce rate, addiction rate, anger rate, suicide rate… They’re simply products of The Way of the Facade.
And just like my front porch, with the plaster-sprayed styrofoam ledge with half-bricks mortared to cinder blocks below it, for “curb appeal”…
Their movement is founded on deception, selling an image of Man to little Guys worldwide.
Guy’s facade may not be for sales, primarily, but for the avoidance of facing his Beast.
He just didn’t know it would work so well, not realizing the scope of the issue plaguing little Guys around the world. For years, he thought he was the only one.
Not confronting his Beast is the only thing keeping him stuck.
It doesn’t matter how much material or how many “followers” he collects to make his own little Guy feel better, find peace… or great sleep.
The Beast grows in power…
It destroys homes.
Sabotages marriages.
It inspires disconnection from family,
division as a nation,
ego rule,
and chaos in the name of being a “real man”
or at least not being “a little bitch”.
The irony is more authentic than him.
A Call to Arms
This isn’t the end of the story unless Guy let’s it be.
Maybe you’re a Guy reading this, feeling that familiar sting because you know this script.
I lived this script for decades. Most of this story is based on a true character–me… as well as also being inspired by real life Guys.
One thing is a promise: You can break the cycle. You can ditch the act and find something real… if you would just confront your beast.
Think about it: You can have authentic happiness, not just the fleeting highs. Real strength – calm, cool, resilient – leading with your actual heart, not the hurt that’s been leading you.
It’s already in you too, that’s the wild part… everything you need, you have.
What you do matters, more than you might realize. You were born to make a difference, not just manage a facade.
Your perception determines your direction–where you headed?
The world needs you, the real you, not the character you’ve been playing.
So, here’s the challenge: Confront your beast.
Step into the authentic, kingly power (good and gentle) you were meant for – the kind that truly protects and brings prosperity to your people, starting with you.
My message to you: Don’t be a Guy. Be a Man. Confront your beast.
(And watch that bitch fall! See, I’m cool with my Guy now. I know his place and it’s almost never in front.)
But I was a world class Guy. That’s why today, I help Guys become the men they know they are (deep down). Honest freedom is undefeated. It produces beauty, never brokenness.
that feeling when you’re actually taking care of little Guy in healthy ways
Honest freedom is undefeated
Men, from our identity, to our marriages, to money, friendships, business, sleep, emotional management, enjoyable road trips and even get-togethers with in-laws… the list of authentic victories is endless… but only when you confront your Beast.
How to Confront Your Beast so you can Lead with Heart, not Hurt.™
Face it isn’t just a phrase—it’s a mirror. It calls a man forward with clarity and edge.
FACE IT™ – The 6-Step Framework for Confronting & Overcoming Your Beast
The Warrior in you needs rest. That’s the first thing to buy into, if you’re going to take back your power. Let Guy chill. We can come back to him and his ways, but for now, no fight, no hustle, no grind, no push, no striving. Take a deep breath. Do it.
Now, another. All the way in, all the way out.
The One Thing you run from holds all your power. It’s your Beast.
A man can’t conquer what he won’t confront.
Confronting your Beast is how you produce relaxation.
I know, it “doesn’t make sense”. No kidding, how many do you se living in authentic freedom, without fronting?
Exactly. Or as Mom (from the hood) says, “Eee-zackly”.
Confronting your Beast is how you the gain the necessary insights it takes to see the Beast differently—and realize it’s just the darkness of your hurt.
Still scary, I know, but no longer is it a Beast.
Teeth gone. Just mystery left. Let’s keep going…
How do I see in the dark, clear up some of the mystery? How do I shed some light on the subject?
You detach from your intellectual expectations, marinate in your appreciation and take the easy step to freedom, down the narrow path.
(Remember: very few walk this way–do not be shocked when you’re the only one around. That’s part of this journey and truly growing up, being okay with leaving Pookey & Them in their sandbox.)
To Confront Your Beast, know that it’s EASY when you FACE IT.
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- F – Feel it: The Grumble.
Pain, Fear, Shame, Rage. No numbing. Feel to heal.
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- A – Acknowledge it: The Conditioning.
See the repeating pattern. It’s conditioning.
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- C – Confront it: The Beast.
Red pill, blue pill. Your fork in the road. Choose courage (do it scared). Regain stolen power.
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- E – Expose it: The Root.
Where did it start? Whose identity did you mistake as yours? What lie have you agreed with? What behavior goes against your core value?
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- I – Initiate it: Your New Story.
The Beast got you through a lot. That’s valuable but you’ve grown up. You’re not here just to grind or fight. You’re meant for more—true power, eternal impact, peace of mind. Take back the pen. Initiate your real story. Simple decision: What do you want?
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- T – Take it: The Step.
Act courageously, your heart strengthens immediately. Do the thing you fear, and the fear vanishes. Go against the pattern. Don’t wait until ready—GO and become ready.
Was the baby you braver than the man you? I don’t think so.
Belief without action is impotence–powerless and self-conscious.
Confront your Beast.
Start now, what is your Beast? Write it: ____________________________________
*image of a man’s Beast being confronted (and conquered!),
with authentic power
I can help, for real.
You know this is truth.
If you want some help with taking back leadership from your Guy, grab a time. I guarantee a life-changing insight or I’ll cover the coffee and you never have to talk to me again.
